


The Other Side

by enlidou



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Friendship, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Lesbian Character, Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-04 01:26:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10979490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enlidou/pseuds/enlidou
Summary: When the unexpected happens, Carol needs her by her side, but will Therese be strong enough to take care of her?[Hospital AU]





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had this idea yesterday night while listening to The Other Side (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIFU8rfF7_c) and since then I didn't stop writing, I stayed up all night, this idea just couldn't leave me! So here it is, the theme is quite dark but I promise it'll be alright (check the tags!) 
> 
> Also, the description of Carol's condition is based on my personal experience (it happened to one of my relatives) and I'm not sure if that's how it's taken care of in NYC. 
> 
> This is my very first fanfiction and English is not my first language obviously, so I'm open to advice!

She would never get used to it. How could something like that happen all of a sudden? Therese still couldn’t wrap her head around it, despite the doctors’ numerous explanations. The unfairness of it all couldn’t be erased by some medical terms. For them, Carol was just another patient. In this aisle of the hospital 50 other persons suffered from the same condition. But for Therese there was only Carol. She was her everything, as cheesy as it sounded.

It had been one month now. One month since that night she was sure to remember for all her life. She remembered how incredibly elated she was feeling when she had arrived at their apartment on Madison Avenue.

 

* * *

  _One month earlier, January_

 

She was so excited to announce to Carol that she was getting a promotion at The Times. She was even planning how they would celebrate the event.

It may have been an intuition but as soon as she pushed the door open she felt something was wrong. At first she didn’t know why she was feeling that way before realizing how _dark_ and _cold_ the apartment was. That was unusual as it was almost 9PM and the night had fallen outside for a long time. Why didn’t Carol turn the lights and the heaters on? Dread was gnawing her insides and she chided herself for panicking over nothing.

She turned on the lights and made her way to the living room which was apparently empty. She went to their bedroom, now almost sure that Carol went to bed early for some reason. But the bed was empty too. Frowning, Therese went back to the living room when she spotted it. She could see Carol’s feet behind their couch.

As panic threatened to overwhelm her, she ran to her lover. This sight would never leave her, Therese was sure of that. Carol was lying on the floor still in her pyjamas, her eyes were open but didn’t seem to see Therese and her body was shivering uncontrollably.

Therese felt as if she couldn’t breathe anymore. Everything around her was turning black and only one thing prevented her from a panic attack: she heard Carol whimper.

Brought back to reality, she took Carol’s face in her trembling hands.

“Carol, Carol! What happened? Carol?”

But she got no answer and Carol’s eyes seem to look through her and her face was unnaturally still. Therese’s practical mind took momentarily over and she ran to her purse, looking for her mobile phone. Dialing 911, she immediately went back to Carol and knelt next to her and took her hand.

“It’s going to be okay, Carol, I promise” she tried to reassure her – as well as herself – but her voice was still shaking.

When a woman answered her call she immediately explained when she had seen when arriving home. The woman calmly asked for her address and told her an ambulance was on its way. In her fogged mind, Therese heard the words “cerebral stroke” and she felt the panic coming back. Before ending the call, the woman told her to quickly put a blanket on Carol while waiting for the ambulance and to try to talk to her.

Grabbing the two blankets from the couch, Therese put them all over Carol and sat once again next to her. She took her hand in hers and put the other on Carol’s cheek.

“They- They’re coming, Carol. It’s gonna be all right. I won’t leave you, I’ll st- stay with you, okay?” Her voice was still trembling but she kept on talking to her during the agonizing minutes waiting for the ambulance. She felt a wave of relief when she noticed Carol had almost stopped shivering but her eyes were still terrifyingly expressionless.

There was a loud knock on the door and she ran to open it. And then everything was blurred. She somehow led the nurses to Carol and uselessly repeated what happened. She saw the three nurses all around Carol, checking things and saying terms Therese didn’t understand.

After 10 minutes one of the nurses came to her.

“Your partner had a cerebrovascular accident, probably in the morning judging by her outfit and you said you left at 7AM. So it has been more than 10 hours: we have to take her quickly to the hospital, we can’t waste any more time. Luckily it seems like she avoided hypothermia. We’ll take her to the hospital right now, I suppos you’re coming with us?”

“Of- yes, yes of course” Therese stammered.

She had never felt more useless than when she saw Carol lying on the stretcher. In the ambulance she couldn’t let go of Carol’s hand. The nurses seemed to understand and didn’t tell her anything.

When the ambulance arrived at the hospital she was told she had to stay in the waiting room while they were examining Carol. At that Therese couldn’t help but burst into tears as she sat among all those strangers who were unaware of how devastated she was feeling.

The hours seemed to stretch on and on. After one hour she managed to quickly call Abby who immediately told her she was coming. The call didn’t last more than 10 minutes as Therese was afraid the doctors would be looking for her while she was outside.

Only 30 minutes had passed when Abby came into the waiting room. When she saw her Therese felt the tears coming back. Abby went quickly to her and took her in her arms. The young woman felt a bit relieved: she wasn’t alone anymore. Abby seemed to understand and she didn’t let go of her when they sat.

“I’m so- so scared, Abby. I can’t survive without her! I sh- I should have called her today, why didn’t I call her today?”

She felt Abby’s hands in her hair and heard her whisper: “Nonsense! How could you know? And don’t underestimate Carol, she’s a fucking fighter”.

Even though Abby’s voice broke a little, Therese was thankful. Yes, Carol was strong. And now they had to be strong too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment! ;)
> 
> PS: I think a beta could help, I'm doing my best but the English language is still tricky! If anyone's interested let me know! <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for your support in the comments! It really means a lot to me. As I told some of you, this story will focus on Carol's recovery (so the worst part was the first chapter, don't worry). 
> 
> And of course thank you Ligeria for your beta reading :D

They waited until 1AM – at that point, Abby was almost ready to kill one of the nurses if it meant having any information – before a tall doctor came into the waiting room. “For Miss Ross?” 

Therese nearly jumped from her seat. “Yes! Yes. We’re here for her.”

“I’m Dr Tucker. Are you family members?” he asked, although it seemed to be routine for him, asking the question just out of habit.

“I’m her partner,” Therese answered firmly, feeling a pleasantly surprised Abby looking at her. “I’m the one who called 911.”

“Yes, of course. You can’t see her for now as we’ve still other tests to do but I can talk to you in my office.”

Therese nodded and took Abby’s hand, still needing the other woman’s support. Abby wouldn’t have admitted it but she needed it as well, maybe even more. They followed the doctor through several corridors and entered a tiny, impersonal office. Several doctors probably shared the same desk.

“So, Miss Ross,” the doctor said.He took out an impressive number of papers with graphs and numbers on them.

Therese tried to focus on what he was saying but she couldn’t wait anymore.  “How is she?”

“Her situation is stable. It’s too early to determine how the next days and weeks will be but she isn’t in immediate danger, that I can assure you.”

Finally able to breathe again, Therese began to feel tired. The day and night’s exhaustion was coming back to her and threatened to drown her but she managed to remain attentive.

“According to our tests, Miss Ross had her stroke at around 9AM this morning and she entered the hospital at 10PM. The victims of cerebrovascular accidents must be taken care of as quickly as possible to avoid any lasting consequences. I won’t lie to you, 11 hours is a lot in this situation, that’s why I can’t tell you now how Miss Ross will recover. We will have to observe her evolution in the next days. The consequences can be physical as well as mental and they can be permanent or temporary. You have to be prepared for both. However, Miss Ross has an important advantage: she’s young. Most of the time, the victims of those accidents are over 60. Thanks to her age, Miss Ross’s chances of recovery are higher than average.”

Therese tried to make sense of all of what the doctor had just said. She was terrified to ask what the possible “permanent consequences” could be. Instead,she chose to focus on the doctor’s last sentence. She needed to be hopeful; she felt that was what Carol would have wanted.

Dr. Tucker looked genuinely sorry for them and Therese was thankful for that. For the first time since they were in this office, she saw him as a human being. He took a blank piece of paper and went on:

“Now I have some questions about her so that we can understand the reasons of her stroke. Quite a lot of risk factors can explain a cerebral stroke at her age. First, does she smoke or drink a lot?”

Therese opened her mouth but Abby answered first. “She does smoke a lot, a bit more than a pack per day. She drinks occasionally, not more than a drink per day – nothing excessive.” She looked at Therese for confirmation and the young woman just nodded.

“All right. Did she talk about about any … dizziness, lately?”

For this one, Therese had to think carefully about it. She thought about the last week, trying to remember if Carol had told her anything about it. It had been a busy and stressful week for both of them at theirjobsand they had gone to bed early almost everyday. Then Therese remembered something Carol had said. At the time it had seemed normal and neither of them had been alarmed by it. Therese frowned and said, “She told me she was feeling unwell four days ago. She said she was so tired she almost fainted. She – she joked about it.”  Therese’s voice broke at the end.

“It could have been a first small stroke. It does happen before the main one and usually people don’t take it seriously. Now one last question – has she been under a lot of stress recently?”

For this one, they didn’t have to think about it. Both Therese and Abby answered “yes” at the same time. “It was getting better though. The last year has been very difficult for her but these last months she was feeling much better,” Therese added.

“I see,” Dr. Tucker said before scribbling something on his paper. “It could be a backlash. Sometimes the mind only reacts when the stress recedes. For now, I don’t need anything else but I’ll come to you if we need more information about her. Do you have any questions?”

“When can I see her?” Therese suddenly blurted out.

The doctor watched her with sympathy. “When the last test is finished, that is to say in about 30 minutes. However, I’m afraid you can’t stay long, as at that point what she needs the most is rest. You can come back tomorrow at 8AM as she’s not under visitation hours for now.”

 _How can I go_ _back home alone now after all this?_ Therese suddenly worried. She felt completely unable to be on her own, especially in _their_ apartment. She turned her head and met Abby’s eyes. “I’ll stay with you,” the other woman declared, as if reading her mind. It was not a question but an affirmation. Maybe Abby couldn’t stay alone either. Therese had never been so glad to have Abby as a friend. It had been difficult at first as Abby was afraid she’d break her best friend’s heart but month after month they had gotten closer and Therese was thankful for that. She knew they could rely on each other and it was all they needed at that point.

Dr.Tucker stood up and took them back to the waiting room. “I know it’s a tough situation for the relatives, believe me. Sometimes we used to say that it’s even more difficult for them than for the patient. But you need to stay strong because she will need you in the next weeks.”

Therese already knew it. If she wanted her Carol back, she would have to be the strong one for her. She promised herself she would do everything she could for Carol. She would face anything if it meant helping her, she was sure of that. She just hoped she would be strong enough. At least, she wouldn’t be alone. She knew Abby would be always there and Dannie too.

The young woman was beginning to fall asleep on an uncomfortable chair. She was dreaming about the day Carol had come back to her after their months apart. _She always comes back_.

She was awoken by a nurse telling them they could see Carol. They followed her and Therese thought she could barely walk at that point – she was exhausted and she was afraid how she would find her lover. Before pushing the door, the nurse warned them: “It has been a long day for her as well so you can’t stay long. I’m sorry. Don’t expect her to react to you at that point but don’t worry, she’s under a lot of medication so it doesn’t mean anything for now.”

Therese only nodded, not trusting her voice. Her lover, lying on the medical bed, had her eyes closed but she didn’t seem to be asleep. Therese knew her enough to know when she was sleeping. She had electrodes on her chest relied to three machines monitoring her vitals. Despite how vulnerable Carol looked at that moment, Therese was relieved to see her. After all those hours worrying in the waiting room – and dreading the worst – it felt as if they had been separated for months.

She went to her side and took her right hand in hers but didn’t dare squeeze it. Carol looked so weak she was afraid she might break her. She saw Carol’s eyes flutter open but she looked ahead and didn’t turn her gaze towards them.

It took all the courage Therese had left to speak. “Carol, my love. We- we’re here. I love you.”

She felt tears coming to her eyes and fought them to keep watching her lover. Her eyes widened when Carol’s head seemed to turn a bit towards her. She was still thinking her exhausted mind was tricking her when she felt the blonde woman’s hand weakly squeeze her own.

Now she couldn’t hold back her tears any more as she went to kiss Carol lightly on the cheek. “We’ll be here tomorrow, my love, I promise. Please try to rest, okay?”

She took a step away and let Abby come closer to her friend. “You better come back to us quickly. Thisone needs you. And I do too, you nitwit!” Therese could her she was close to tears too, even though she was trying to hide it behind her usual sense of humor.

The nurse told them it was time to let her rest so Therese quickly went to kiss her lover on her cheek and looked her in the eyes. She thought she saw recognition in those unforgettable blue eyes she loved so much. For the first time this evening, she felt hopeful. Even if it would take time, Carol would come back to her. As she always did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Of course** Carol recognizes Therese, come on. 
> 
> Any thoughts? Reactions? Please leave a comment <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again and again for all your comments on the last chapter! It really keeps me motivated!  
> And of course thank you Ligeria for your beta reading!

When she opened her eyes the next morning, Therese felt disorientated. She wasn’t in their bed. She wasn’t in their apartment. Carol wasn’t next to her. Then it all came back. Carol lying on the floor at home; the waiting room; the machines.

When leaving the hospital only a few hours before, Abby had proposed she come to her own apartment. Therese was thankful for that as she didn’t know if she could go back to Madison Avenue without thinking about Carol lying on the floor all the time. She wasn’t ready – it was too soon.

Despite her exhaustion, she had barely slept that night. She felt overwhelmed by a mix of emotions, mostly guilt. It wouldn’t leave her. She kept wondering how Carol must have felt all day. God, she had been there for eleven hours! Eleven hours staying conscious but unable to move. What had she thought about? Had she been praying for Therese to call her? To come back sooner from work? Had she felt abandoned? Therese couldn’t even imagine what it must have felt  like.

Watching the sun rising through the window, Therese remembered how she had done the exact same thing the morning before. A lifetime seemed to have passed in 24 hours. At that hour Carol had been asleep, her arm loosely wrapped around Therese’s waist, breathing against her neck. Therese had tried to get out of bed without waking her up but she hadn’t resisted and had kissed Carol on her forehead. Therese could vividly remember the contented sighshe had received even though Carol had still been asleep. Everything had seemed too simple. And now here she was, alone in another bed, in another apartment and everything seemed uncertain. She hadn’t a clue what would happen and it terrified her.

She had been fully awake for almost an hour when she decided to get up. She was determined to face the day, whatever would happen, even though a part of her just wanted to hide in bed all day and pretend nothing had happened, and that it all had been a nightmare.

When she got out of the guestroom, she found Abby drinking her coffee in the kitchen. “Hi sleepyhead,” the woman greeted her. This was what Carol always called her. It hurt her but she managed to get over it. One small victory at a time. “Morning, Abby. Thank you again for everything. I mean, if you hadn’t been there yesterday, I don’t know how...” 

“Therese, Therese! You don’t have to thank me. Carol’s my best friend. She would’ve done the same if I was in her place right now. And you know you’re my friend too, despite how much I tease you.” Abby gave her a small smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Abby. I just don’t know. It’s so overwhelming, and we still don’t know how she is and what will be the consequences and I still feel so guilty and-”

“Wait, guilty? Therese, what are you talking about?”

“I was so … happy yesterday. I was told I was getting a promotion and I was so excited, I wanted to surprise Carol … I should have called her. Abby, you heard the doctor, every hour counts. If I had just- if I had just called her during the day...” She couldn’t go on.

Abby looked sternly at her. “Therese. You couldn’t know. _We_ couldn’t know. _I_ could have called her yesterday, but I was caught up in my work too. We can’t change the fact that she’s there now and it’s no use feeling guilty, okay? It won’t help her now.”

Therese looked at her, slightly surprised. “You felt guilty too?”

“ _Of course_ I did. It’s human. You’re not alone, Therese. We’re in it together. I save my best friend, you save your...”

“My girlfriend.”

“You’re way too adorable in the morning. Come and get a coffee. It’s going to be another long day, I can feel it.” 

* * *

At 8 AM sharp, they were at the hospital. As Carol was still asleep, Therese decided to call Dannie, to let him know she wouldn’t come to work that day. She would probably have to stop working for a bit if she had to take care of Carol. She couldn’t help but think _What if Carol remains dependent for all her life?_ The thought scared her. She wanted to do her best for Carol but she only hoped ‘her best’ would be enough. Dannie told her he was there for her if she needed him. For the second time in less than 24 hours, Therese felt grateful to have such great friends.

When Therese was authorized to see Carol later that day, she immediately saw how Carol was looking at her. She would never forget that look, along with the first time they had seen each other over a year before. There was absolutely no mistake now: Carol recognized her. She couldn’t help but give the blonde a huge smile, showing her dimples. The older woman’s face twitched as if she was trying to smile back but Therese noticed only one half of her face seemed to actually move. She tried her best to hide her worry.

She stayed with her all day, holding her hand and telling her over and over how much she was loved. Carol was unable to speak but she managed to find other ways to communicate: a squeeze, a look or a small smile was largely enough for Therese for now. Abby took her place several times and she had the opportunity to ask a nurse about Carol’s apparent paralysis.

“Oh, yes. It’s a frequent symptom of this kind of stroke. Half of the patient’s body can be paralyzed. In this case, it’s the left side. The face is the most obvious, but it can also be the arm and the leg. Miss Ross’s face is partly paralyzed and her leg seems to be very weak as well but we couldn’t test it thoroughly yet. We were surprised her left arm seems completely fine even though she hadn't been taken care of right away. Her young age must have helped. However, the recovery can still take a lot of time, and you will need to be patient. I know it’s hard and frustrating at times.”

The nurse must have been used to impatient relatives who couldn’t understand why the recovery was taking so long and who accused the personnel of not doing their job properly. Therese could understand why she was so defensive so she tried not to mind her cold tone.

“So it’s not a permanent paralysis?” She tried her best to hide her worry. But the nurse must have felt it.

“Of course you must understand I can’t promise you anything, as each patient is different. But usually, the face’s paralysis does get better, especially with the youngest patients. The leg will take more time though.”

A bit relieved, Therese thanked her. She couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if Carol remained permanently paralyzed. Was she ready for that? She began to realize that as long as Carol came back to her _mentally_ she was ready to cope with almost everything. She had been so frightened of losing her completely. 

* * *

 

Three days had passed since _the accident_. Therese had called her boss to tell him she was taking the week off. He had always been kind to her and he had reassured her, saying he would manage during her absence. She had told him she’d think about what she’d decide to do after that week.

During these three days she had stayed at Abby’s. The day before, they had gone to the Madison Avenue apartment to get some clothes for Carol. At first, Therese had been determined to go in there with Abby; she felt ready to do it. But as soon as Abby opened the front door, Therese couldn’t move anymore. She was frozen. She felt ashamed to be so weak and almost cried in frustration. It was still too soon for her. Abby had seemed to understand and she had just quickly fetched the clothes without saying a word.

After these three days Carol’s face began to express a slight frustration at her inability to speak. But Therese could see that she was attentive to everything that was happening around her, especially when the Dr. Tucker had come to bring some results. He had explained to them how they’d have to focus on Carol’s speech and on the rehabilitation of her left leg. It’d be the two main stages of her recovery.

On that afternoon, as they were both in Carol’s room, a new nurse entered. Therese couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was. She was the youngest they had seen since they had arrived; she was only two or three years older than Therese. Her smile seemed to brighten the whole room.

“Good afternoon! I’m Genevieve Cantrell, but everyone just calls me Genevieve. We’ll see each other a lot from now on, I’m the one who’s in charge of Carol’s transfer. She’s completely stable now, so she doesn’t need to be in intensive care anymore. So she’ll be transferred to the specialized aisle where we only take care of patients like her. I’m the nurse in charge in there so if you have any questions or if you need anything, you’ll just have to come to my office.”

“When is she being transferred?” Therese asked. She was struck by how at ease she felt around this nurse. She was glad Carol was under her care.

“We’ll transfer her tonight. So tomorrow you’ll just have to go to the reception and they’ll tell you where to go. Oh and I’m sorry but as soon as she leaves intensive care you’ll only be able to see her after 12.”

Therese instinctively took Carol’s hand. If there was a transfer, it meant she was getting better. As Genevieve left, Therese turned to Abby for the first time since the nurse’s entrance. When she saw the look on Abby’s face she almost laughed. Obviously Abby was completely charmed by this nurseand she didn’t bother to hide it. She looked completely stunned.

Therese was so relieved by the news of the transfer that she felt she could tease Abby for once.

“This _Genevieve_ seems pretty … nice. Don’t you think so?”

Abby’s face was flushed as if she had been caught red handed. “Oh, hm. Yes, pretty nice, I suppose.”

Satisfied, Therese turned her attention back to Carol and she was surprised to see a genuine smile on her lips. She wasn’t the only one who was trying hard not to laugh at Abby. 

* * *

 

The next day, as they were having dinner at Abby’s apartment, Therese suddenly brought the subject she had had on her mind all day.

“We must tell Harge, right?”

Abby sighed deeply, putting down her fork. “Oh God, Therese. I don’t know. He refuses to talk to me for obvious reasons and I suppose it’s the same – at least – for you. But he’s Rindy’s father … We’re stuck. I don’t know what to do.”

Therese was surprised. She was quite sure it was the first time she’d heard Abby admitting she didn’t know what to do. Surprisingly, it only strengthened her determination.

“I will go see him tomorrow evening. Then he won’t be able to avoid my call. He has to know, especially if Carol is hospitalized for a while and can’t look after Rindy.”

Since Carol had come back to her in April and the court had granted them joint custody, Harge hadn’t said a single word to Therese. When he’d come to their apartment to bring Rindy he would carefully avoid looking at her and he never talked about her to Carol. When it was time for Rindy to go, the little girl would often tell her father how much fun she had had with Therese and Harge would always ignore it and change the subject. His attitude had been ridiculous during all those months. One day he had called Carol to arrange the following weekend with Rindy. Carol, being in the bathroom, she had asked Therese to answer and bring her the phone. But Therese had barely said “good morning” and Harge had hung up. He was terribly stubborn and the situation hadn’t evolved at all. Therese was sure that if she called to tell him what had happened to Carol he would immediately hang up before she could explain anything. She had no choice. She would have to go see him in person.

“She fought so hard to have joint custody...” Therese could see the unmistakable anger in Abby’s eyes.

“It’s temporary, Abby. She will be here for her daughter, it’s just a question of time. And I think seeing Rindy will do her good. When she’s ready to see her, of course.”

“When did you become so mature?”

Therese gave her a small smile. She knew Abby used to consider her as just a girl sometimes. “Well, I feel like Carol has always been the natural ‘leader’ in our couple, in a way. But right now, _I_ must take care of her and I intend to do just that. She’d do the same if I were in her place.”

The older woman gave her an unreadable look. “You know Therese, at first I was skeptical about you two. And I didn’t hide it from Carol. But seeing both of you this last year and seeing _you_ right now, I think I owe you some apologies.”

Therese took her hand and looked her in the eye “Thank you Abby, it really means a lot to me and I’m sure it’d mean a lot to Carol too.”

“I can’t believe you’re ready to show up at Harge’s house!” Abby suddenly laughed.

Therese grimaced. “Well, it’s not like I have a choice. I just hope he’ll accept to hear what I’ve to say before he slams the door in my face...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's Genevieve! How will Harge react? I'm curious to know your thoughts on that!   
> There'll be more interaction between Carol and Therese in the next chapter I promise ;)  
> Comments are always appreciated <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments and kudos on the first chapters on this story, you guys are amazing <3 I hope you'll enjoy this one too!
> 
> And thank you (again and again) Ligeria for your beta reading!

****Despite the determination she had shown to Abby the day before, Therese was beginning to feel anxious. She knew it was ridiculous: after everything that had happened during the last few days, seeing Harge shouldn’t stress her that much. But the man’s reactions were so unpredictable that she couldn’t help but expect the worst from him.

She had come from NYC with Carol’s car. It was the first time in a while she had been driving but she’d had no choice. She had managed to go back to their apartment on her own to take the car’s keys and find the exact address of Harge as she had never been there before.

When she arrived at her destination, she spotted Harge’s sports car parked in front of the huge mansion. Of course, Therese always knew the Airds were incredibly rich but it was always impressive to her. Carol also came from a rich family but she wasn’t fond of showing it off like the Airds. 

Therese parked behind the car and killed the engine. She took a deep breath to try to calm her nerves. _Come on, you didn’t come all this way to turn back now! He’s just a man, Therese!_ She got out of the car and made her way to the front door. It seemed to take ages and Therese could feel her palms sweating. She quickly knocked three times before she could change her mind. She knocked with an assurance she wasn’t sure to have at the time. She immediately heard heavy footsteps and the door opened.

Therese had almost forgotten how massive he was. She resisted the urge to take a step back or simply go away. The dawning sun was partially blinding him. “What is it?” He shaded his eyes with his hand to try to see the face of his visitor. As soon as he recognized her, Therese could see the anger spreading on his face. But she had been expecting it so it didn’t change her mind. 

“Mr Aird, there’s something-” she quickly began before being interrupted.

“ _You!_ Go away from here! Do you think you can just come onto this private property? How dare you!”

“But Car-” Therese kept trying.

“I don’t care, I’m calling the police!” Pure anger was deforming his face and once again Therese wondered how he could hate her so much without even _knowing_ her.

But when he made a move to slam the door shut, anger and exhaustion washed over Therese and she physically pushed the door against Harge and put her feet against it to prevent him from closing it. She had had enough.

“The mother of your child nearly died, godammit!”

Now it was her own face that was distorted by rage. Harge was going to protest against her blocking the door when the meaning of what she had just said seemed to dawn on him. “What did you say?”

“Carol is in hospital! Now will you let me _talk_?”

Harge visibly calmed down and all colors left his face. Anger seemed to leave place to genuine concern which surprised Therese more than it should have. She knew he had been in love with Carol but after all he had put her through with their bitter custody battle, it still surprised her to see he cared about her.

“What happened?” he managed to ask, visibly shaken.

“May I come in?” Therese boldly asked. “There’s a lot of things to talk about, especially about Rindy. And it’s January,” she added, feeling the winter’s cold now that her adrenaline had receded.

Harge still seemed hesitant to let her in. His resentment against her was warring against his concern for his ex-wife.

“I- all right. But let me make sure Rindy’s asleep. I don’t want her to overhear anything that might distress her,” he conceded.

When he let her in, Therese still couldn’t believe she had made it. Her boldness was actually showing results. She was beginning to see another side of Harge apart from his hatred for her, even though Carol had always told her he loved Rindy more than anything.

While Harge went checking on Rindy upstairs, Therese waited in the living room. She couldn’t help but observe her surroundings. The room was quite messy but most of it were Rindy’s toys. She saw some photographs on the wall and she instinctively came closer. All of them had the same people in it: Rindy, Carol and Harge together. Therese knew Carol had gotten rid of the pictures of Harge before moving into their apartment on Madison Avenue.

The more she stayed in that house, the more Therese realized Harge had never gotten over Carol. He was still in love with her and still mourning their divorce. Therese was surprised to feel _pity_ for him. But it didn’t excuse him for his abject behavior with her. It had nothing to do with her. They had already been divorcing before she had even met Carol. But Harge needed to find someone to blame and she was an easy target.

When Harge came back, he just sat on the couch without inviting her to do the same. Therese ignored it and sat too, as far away from him as possible.

“What happened?” he repeated his question, his hard tone not hiding the tremor of his voice.

So Therese told him about the last few days. How she had found Carol. How she had been taken care of. How they still didn’t know if there would be lasting consequences. How they didn’t even know what those consequences could be. How she had recognized Therese and Abby. How she reacted to what she heard. How she and Abby had stayed with her as much as they were allowed to.

She said it without looking at him, as if she was telling everything to no one in particular. But she caught a slight movement from the corner of her eye. Harge had clenched his fist. She turned her head, expecting him to say something. Anything. She expected him to blame her for not calling Carol that day. She still blamed herself. But he didn’t. Maybe because he had almost never called his wife when they were married. But he clearly seemed unable to utter a word. Therese couldn’t really blame him. It was a lot of information to process.

So she went on. “I- About Rindy. Of course, Carol can’t take care of her for now. So you’ll have to- to keep her. And I think it’s better to wait before she visits her mother. I don’t think Carol would like her to see her like that. Hopefully she’ll get- she’ll recover quickly.”

She finally got a reaction out of the man. He nodded and met her eyes. His eyes were a bit glassy but he was doing his best to hide it.

“But Rindy will ask why she can’t see her mother. What will I tell her?”

Therese hadn’t thought about that. They had agreed to tell the little girl her mother was a little bit sick but not to tell her anything that could alarm her. Harge would have to assure his daughter she’d be able to see her mother soon. Therese didn’t envy him; she knew Rindy’s habit of asking tons of questions. She was a curious child and she’d probably not leave him in peace.

The young woman could see the man was struggling to hide his feelings from her so she made a move to get up and told him she’d leave. She was still surprised at how she had managed to handle the situation and was a bit baffled by Harge’s behavior.

“Miss Belivet!” Harge called as she was getting up. _Okay, now if he says “thank you” then I know he has completely lost his mind_. But Harge simply said, “Could you keep me informed? If anything happens with Carol?” Then he quickly added, “For Rindy’s sake, of course.”

“Yes, Mr Aird. _For Rindy,_ ” she agreed.

Back in her car, Therese felt _proud_. She had handled the “Harge problem” on her own. It had been a huge responsibility for her but it had gone surprisingly well. She couldn’t wait to tell Carol about it. She knew she’d be proud of her too and she was sure it’d make her smile. And right now Therese only wanted to see that smile.

* * *

 

 An entire week passed since the stroke before Carol began to speak again.

Therese was arguing with a nurse about the shower. The nurse was reticent to leave her totake care of Carol as she was not officially a relative. Therese had been trying to explain calmly that she was her _partner_ but it felt like talking to a wall. Abby was watching the argument, helpless.

It all began when the nurse asked her to leave the room while she was taking “the patient” to the shower. Therese was ready to do so but as soon as the nurse said that, Carol squeezed Therese’s hand and looked at her with pleading eyes. The young woman immediately understood. She wanted Therese to take care of her, not a nurse.

The argument was progressively heating up as the young woman was losing her patience. Therese was getting more and more frustrated by the nurse’s unwillingness and they were almost shouting.

“I know Carol! And if she could talk, she’d tell you she wants _me_ to do it and she’d make you go away right now!”

It was at this moment that both of them distinctly heard a “Therese” coming from the bed. The young woman’s eyes widened and she nearly jumped on the blonde.

“Carol! Oh my god, Carol! You said my name,” she stupidly said, tears in her eyes. Carol nodded and smiled at her but her look was determined when she turned to the nurse. Therese did the same and said, “See, what did I tell you? Now leave us, I know what to do. I’ll ask Genevieve if I need to.”

“I’ll do it!” Abby quickly intervened, suspiciously willingly.

She and Genevieve came back five minutes later. The latter told the other nurse she’d handle the situation. Therese was relieved to see her finally leave the room.

“I’m sorry,” Genevieve said, “we’ve been under a lot of pressure here those last days. Don’t be hard on her, she’s been working for hours without any break. I’m sure she didn’t mean to be hurtful. Well, now I’ll have to give you some advice Therese, if you’re ready to do that regularly.”

After her brief explanations, Genevieve and Abby left the room.

“Alone at last!” Therese smiled. “God, Carol I can’t believe you _spoke_ _!"_  She was ecstatic and strangely glad her name was the first thing Carol had said.

Carol swallowed and carefully asked, “We go?”

Therese was sure she wouldn’t be able to get rid of her stupid grin for hours. She had missed Carol’s voice so much during that last week. She thought she’d quickly become an addict: she wanted to hear that voice again and again.

Carol managed to sit on the edge of her bed on her own and Therese let her. The more Carol could do on her own, the quicker she’d recover. Therese came nearer to stand before her and Carol wrapped her arms around her neck. That position was so familiar the young woman couldn’t resist and kissed the blonde, bringing her hands to her cheeks. Their kiss was slow, just like their first. Therese heard and felt Carol’s contented sigh. “I love you so much, Carol.”

“Me too,” she answered, her blue eyes sparkling.

Thanks to that position, Therese managed to move Carol to the wheelchair. Her legs were still too weak because of the heavy medication. Once in the bathroom, they repeated the operation so that Therese could lift Carol onto the seat in the shower. Therese carefully undressed her and Carol tried her best to help.

But once she began to wash her, Therese could see Carol’s growing uneasiness. She knew what it must cost the blonde to appear so weak in front of her. She was avoiding her eyes as much as she could. She was a proud woman and even though it was only Therese, it was difficult for her. Therese was desperate to find a way to break the growing tension. She wanted to show her she didn’t mind taking care of her.

“Well, we used to have naughtier showers. We must be getting old,” she tried to joke. She silently prayed her joke wouldn’t make the situation worse. Relief flooded over her when she heard Carol _laugh_. By making that stupid joke, she had made the mood lighter.

Carol’s eyes finally met hers again and they were glowing. “God ye- yes, so nau- naughty,” she managed to say. The words still came with difficulty but they were there.

Therese laughed with her and whispered in her ear, “And I’m sure we’ll have even more naughty showers in the future, it’s a promise ...” She mischievously winked at her and was rewarded by another laugh. _Well, if flirting can help her recover, who am I to refuse it?_

As Therese was washing Carol’s hair, she could see her completely relaxed, sighing with her eyes closed. Once again Therese couldn’t resist and she kissed her. “I hope this shower was better than with that nurse!” she joked. Carol grunted and Therese took that as a “yes”.

As she was enveloping Carol in a towel, she took every opportunity to show her her affection. They had rarely been alone during that week. Abby had been there almost all the time and Carol had sometimes been asleep, her body still weak after her stroke. The blonde managed to bring Therese against her with her right arm, the left one still a bit weaker. She tried to say something but the sounds didn’t make sense. She frowned and seemed to focus. Therese patiently waited. The third time was the charm: “My- my angel.”

* * *

Therese finally left Carol as the visitation hours were over. She looked for Abby but couldn’t seem to find her anywhere in the aisle. Then she heard an unmistakable laugh coming from Genevieve’s office. _How surprising_...

She knocked on the door and when she entered she immediately saw Abby’s flushed face. She pretended not to notice it and Genevieve motioned her to sit. 

“I was just about to tell Abby about Carol’s situation now that her speech seems to be coming back. It’s a major step because now we’ll have all the information. You can’t really estimate the mental aspect without interaction. I think it’s obvious there’s not a case of amnesia, but it doesn’t mean she won’t have forgotten some things, maybe only details. You know her more than we do so you’ll have to find out if she has forgotten details or… more important things. And don’t expect her to fully regain her speech capacities all of a sudden. It’ll be progressive. I hate to tell you that now because I know how elated you must feel that she speaks again, but you have to be prepared for that too.”

Of course, Therese knew the path to recovery would be long but as long as Carol kept calling her “her angel” then she could be patient.

But the next few months would put her resolution and patience to the test.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harge (almost) acting like an adult. I know, it's shocking ahah
> 
> With that last sentence the first part of this story (focusing on the immediate aftermath of the stroke) is over! The second part will be the milestones of Carol's recovery so there will be ellipsis. Oh, and a small storm is ahead in the next chapter (it's teasing not spoiling ;) )
> 
> If you have time, please leave a comment <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay! I was a bit stuck with this chapter as I couldn't find the right tone... I hope you'll like it!  
> Your comments on the last chapters were awesome, thank you so much!  
> And thank you Ligeria for you beta reading!

_February_

****The following weeks felt like a lifetime to Therese. Everything happened so fast, she was struggling to keep up with everything: her long visits with Carol, her regular calls to Harge – which were still very cold but almost polite – all the paperwork and of course, her job.

She had decided, with her boss’s approval, that she’d work part-time. She went to the Times in the mornings and kept her afternoons for Carol. It was far from ideal but she couldn’t find an alternative. Her days felt endless: she went to work early in the morning, only took a 30 minutes break to have lunch, then went directly to the hospital, only leaving Carol at 8 pm, when visiting hours were over. And once at her apartment she still had to work on her assignments for the Times. After almost a month of this rhythm, both her mind and body were exhausted. She did her best to hide it from Carol as she didn’t want to worry her.

On the positive side, seeing Carol’s daily progress had helped her overcome her initial fear and she had come back to their apartment on Madison Avenue. She had been glad to stay with Abby during the first days but once she went back to work, she really needed to be alone in her quiet apartment. It’d be a lie to say she hadn’t felt sick when she had seen their living room for the first time, remembering finding Carol there. The only good consequence of her total exhaustion was that she was now way too tired to think about this any more.

This progress made her more and more hopeful. Carol’s speech kept improving and Dr. Tucker as well as Genevieve didn’t hold back their praises, pushing Therese to keep talking to her as often as possible.

Of course, she was the one who mostly did the talking but Carol was doing her best to participate. During the first few days, Carol could only say some words without making sentences. But week after week, she was able to talk longer and could make complete sentences. Of course she was still very hesitant and she often got lost in what she was meaning to say. She often had to repeat what she wanted to say for it to become a bit clearer to Therese and Abby. But it was definitely progress. Her face’s paralysis was also becoming less apparent, to Therese’s shameful relief. Her face was still not as it used to be but the paralysis was not obvious like it used to be.

Her main problem lay elsewhere: she’d often say one word when she meant another. It was clearly frustrating for her as she knew she was making a mistake but every time she tried again she kept repeating the wrong word. Dr. Tucker had tried to explain to them why her brain acted that way but Therese couldn’t understand all his jargon. She could only see Carol’s frustration and impatience.

Genevieve had been right to warn them about memory losses. The more Carol could talk, the more it became obvious that she had forgotten things. It was mostly details such as place names of places or some things she had done when she was a teenager – it was Abby who became aware of it by talking to her. The main thing she had forgotten was the apartment she shared with Therese. She was clearly unable to remember what it looked like at all. Genevieve had told Therese that maybe some pictures of the place would trigger her memory. Therese said she’d give it a try one of these days.

* * *

It was a beautiful day in February. It had been raining for the whole week and the sun was out for the first time in days. The weather seemed to make Carol a bit happier than usual.

Abby had just gone out to buy a coffee. Therese was, as usual, on the chair close to the hospital bed, Carol’s hand in hers, stroking her arm absentmindedly. Carol withdrew her hand and put it in Therese’s hair. The young woman always got emotional whenever her lover showed any sign of affection. She’d never take these moments for granted any more.

Her blue eyes were sweet – as always when looking at Therese – but there was also a spark of … excitement. Therese knew by now what it meant but she waited for Carol to say it. She had taken the habit to do so, so that Carol could improve her speech faster.

“C-can we go inside?” she tried to say. She frowned when it didn’t come as she had wanted. “I mean ‘inside’”. She bit her lip in frustration but Therese let her try again. “Can we go in- _outside?_ ” Relief and satisfaction finally replaced frustration.

“Of course we can.” Therese beamed. She brought the wheelchair and helped Carol into it. It was getting easier now as Carol had regained her strength in her right arm so she could help Therese. But it didn’t prevent Therese from stealing a kiss.

Therese was pushing Carol down the corridor, the blonde covering the young woman’s hand with her own, letting her know how thankful she was that she was there for her.

It was at this moment that Abby turned the corner with the coffee in her hand. “I turn my back ten minutes and you already try to escape!” She pretended to be shocked which didn’t fail to make both Therese and Carol laugh.

Once outside in the park, Carol took a deep breath. It had been a week without going out and it had felt like an eternity. It was like a rebirth. Abby and Therese both sat on a bench facing Carol’s wheelchair. Therese adjusted the blanket covering Carol from the winter’s cold.

“So. How’s G-Gen?” Carol asked Abby, clearly enjoying herself. She always called the nurse that as she just couldn’t pronounce “Genevieve” for now. She clearly got the expected reaction out of Abby. It was still surprising to see how easily she could blush at the mere mention of the nurse. She had never reacted that way before when talking about a woman she fancied. She usually expressed confidence when dealing with women but Genevieve seemed to be different. Both Therese and Carol had noticed it and were doing their best to make Abby talk.

“What about her? She’s kind to Carol. She’s helpful. I don’t know what you mean.” The denial was out of character too and the three of them were aware of that.

“Abby, you can take...” Carol began but it wasn’t the word she meant to say. “You can _talk_ to us.” And that time when Carol looked at her best friend there was no more amusement, only affection. That look was not lost on Abby.

“Oh god, I just feel so bad.” She sighed.

“Why would you feel bad?” Therese frowned. She didn’t expect that turn in the conversation.

“I feel … guilty. I just can’t help but think I shouldn’t feel like that for a woman while you’re in this situation, Carol. I _know_ what you’re going to say. I know it’s stupid but I can’t help it.”

“Don’t be d-daft. I just want you to be happy,” Carol replied firmly. “It’d help me.” She didn’t want Abby to think she’d be … what? Jealous of her happiness? It couldn’t be more far away from reality. “Go for it, nitwit.”

Relieved, Abby smiled a bit but she still seemed a bit sad. “It’s not like I’ve any chance with her anyway. She told me about her ex- _boy_ friend. Clearly she’s not interested in women.” The defeated tone was definitely not Abby at all.

Carol arched an eyebrow and Therese looked at Abby bewildered. “Since when did _that_ stop Abby Gerhard? You used to take that kind of situation as a challenge. Who are you and what have you done to our Abby?” the young woman asked.

“I just-” she began before blushing even more. “I don’t want to hurt her,” she finished in a whisper.

 _S_ _o that explains her unusual behavior_ , Therese thought. _It’s not only desire, she_ cares _f_ _or Genevieve!_ The young woman found it adorable but she wasn’t suicidal enough to say it out loud. Instead she said, “I still think you should try. Don’t be too direct if you’re afraid to scare her away – which I’m sure won’t happen – just be subtle. And if she seems uneasy, just back away. It’s not rocket science, Abby.” She winked at her.

Abby nodded with a glow in her eyes and Therese only gave Abby one month to convince Genevieve. Easy. 

* * *

 A few days later, Genevieve entered the room with a small but very colorful bouquet. “Hello, Abby. Therese. So Carol, how are you today? These came for you, from… Harge Aird, I think? A friend of yours?” she asked, smiling. But she didn’t receive the expected reactions. Both Abby and Therese frowned in incomprehension and Carol audibly gasped. “Harge! What does he w-want?”

Understanding something was wrong, Genevieve said cautiously, “Hm, well it was just delivered to the hospital for you. There’s a card, though. We didn’t read it, of course.” She took out a card from the bouquet, which was as colorful as the bouquet itself, and handed it to Carol. Frowning, Carol opened it and burst into tears.

Alarmed, both Abby and Therese quickly went to her side to see why the card was distressing her. But it wasn’t Harge’s handwriting. It was a child’s handwriting. Rindy’s.

 

_Mommy,_

_Daddy told me you’re a bit sick and that’s why I can’t see you but I really really miss you so I hope you’ll be_ _all right_ _soon and you can read me stories and I can play with Therese. I chose the flowers because I know colors make you happy._

_I love you Mommy._

_Rindy_

 

Harge had clearly helped his daughter but it was Rindy’s words. On the left part of the card was a child’s drawing of a tall blonde woman holding the hand of a small girl, blonde as well. And there was a third person next to the child: a brown-haired woman who was holding something that vaguely looked like a camera. 

Therese couldn’t hold back her tears either.

* * *

When Therese arrived at the hospital that day, she was feeling terrible. For the first time in that last month she had hesitated before coming. But she still needed to see Carol everyday, to make sure she was all right. But she was more than exhausted. She hadn’t had any sleep the night before as she was way behind on one of her deadlines. She had just managed to finish it when she had had to go to the office. She had felt like a zombie all day long and it wouldn’t get better. She tried to hide it when she entered Carol’s room, as always. 

She immediately saw that her lover was tired as well. She still had some migraines and she must have had one the night before. It still didn’t prevent her from flashing Therese a smile when she saw her. And just for that smile, the young woman felt guilty to have even thought about not coming. Carol needed her support and her company. If they were both tired then they didn’t even need to speak that much, just physical contact would be soothing for both of them.

Therese sat on the bed next to Carol and lightly stroked her blonde hair. Carol closed her eyes and pushed her head against the beloved hand. They stayed like that for about half an hour when Therese suddenly remembered something. “I brought the photos of our apartment!”

In the last few weeks, it had appeared that Carol couldn’t remember what their apartment on Madison Avenue looked like. The name was familiar but she had no images. And Genevieve had said that seeing photos of the apartment could help stimulate her memory. Therese had listened to her attentively and had taken tons of photos of their apartment. She took them out of her bag and handed them to her lover.

Carol went through the photos three times, frowning more and more. Therese was beginning to feel anxious.

“I’ve never being-been there. Never,” she declared.

Therese couldn’t believe her ears. Of course she hadn’t expected Carol to remember everything at once but she hadn’t expected this definitive tone either.

“Look, it’s not my k-kitchen,” the blonde continued, showing the picture of their bedroom.

“You mean ‘bedroom’ and yes, it’s our bedroom, Carol.”

“Of course I meant kit-kitchen. Oh _f_ _uck_.” Therese’s eyes widened. Carol never swore. But the blonde’s frustration was only growing. “I’ve never been there, I’d rem- rem-”

Why was she so stubborn? Therese’s incomprehension, exhaustion and frustration was getting the best of her. She could feel a strong headache coming. After the last 24 hours her patience was really wearing thin and Carol wasn’t helping.

“You’d what, Carol?” she probed.

The blonde looked at her with even more frustration. “I can’t say it! Be pa-patient, make some effort!”

“I beg your _pardon_?” the young woman snapped.

Therese couldn’t take it anymore. _Make some effort? Am I not doing just that everyday for more than a month now?_ She grabbed her bag and made for the door but before going out she said, “I’m leaving because I don’t want to say anything that I’d regret, Carol. I shouldn’t have come today; maybe it wasn’t such a good idea.”

She closed the door behind her, not waiting for Carol to reply. She only took a few steps in the corridor before bursting into tears. Did Carol really think she wasn’t making any effort? But she had _snapped_ at her… And this argument had been so stupid and so _quick_. She didn’t understand what had happened.

The sound of someone laughing made her raise her head. The door of one of the rooms was open and a young man was laughing with his girlfriend. His face was more paralyzed than Carol’s and his arm was completely inert on his belly. They couldn’t be older than Therese. He was clearly in his early twenties.

This sight clutched Therese’s heart. She felt overwhelmed by remorse. This young man could have been her. She could’ve been in Carol’s place. And Carol could’ve been in her place. She couldn’t leave Carol like that after an argument. She just needed to explain that she was tired. Hiding it from her wasn’t a good idea.

Slowly making her way back to Carol’s room, Therese was feeling lower than ever. When the door opened, guilt attacked her once again seeing Carol rising her head sadly. And the explanation of Carol’s reaction to the photos finally dawned on Therese: she had panicked because she couldn’t recognize a place that was so central in her life.

Therese eventually chose not to say anything and came to sit on the bed, against Carol. The older woman moved a bit to leave her more space until Therese was laying next to her. The photographer put her head on the blonde’s shoulder and sighed deeply. She felt a long arm – still weak – snaking around her shoulders and she sobbed. At this moment, she forgot these last month’s fear, stress, anger, and sleep deprivation.

“I’m so sorry, Carol.”

She didn’t receive an answer right away but she felt the arm around her pulling her closer. They stayed like that for a long moment. So long that Therese was beginning to feel sleepy when she heard the words she had been unconsciously longing for, carefully enunciated and without any mistake: “Thank you for everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite a lot happening here! I had so much trouble writing this one, I hope it's alright! I ship Abby and Gen so much haha Rindy will be a bit more present in the next chapter.  
> Leave a comment if you feel like it <3


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